Advice, Advancement, & All In

Dear Leaders, Entrepreneurs, Dreamers, and Creators of Great Things: I write these Love Letters each month with the hope of bringing you a little encouragement, some marketing help, and a few minutes of joy. Whether we are already friends or have yet to meet, I hope you’ll enjoy my stories from the road and some awesomely random takeaways, tools, tips, and updates.

Advice

My phone rang the other day, and I saw it was my sister’s number. I answered, and a voice said, “Hi Auntie, it’s Molly.” My niece was leaving the next day to be an exchange student in South Korea, and in her own words, she was “flipping out and needed some encouragement.”

See, more than 30 years ago, I was in her shoes. Packing to attend school in a country I had never been to, where I didn’t speak the language, and had very little idea what I was in for. As I was telling her what an adventure she would have and giving her my best advice, I realized that it was just as applicable to business and daily life. So, here’s what I told Molly:

1. Say yes to everything. New foods, new adventures, new opportunities. Don’t worry so much about knowing everything first – say yes first and figure it out. Some of the very best things come from a brave yes.

2. Pack half as much as you think you’ll need. Trying to take your whole life with you will keep you from making a life there. And hauling so much stuff just holds you back. Letting go of stuff frees you up for possibility. Besides, they probably dress differently where you are going.

3. Don’t spend all your time looking back. When I studied overseas, there was no internet or FaceTime or cell phones. I had to live in the moment. “Don’t spend all your time online watching your friends back home,” I told Molly, “just be there as fully as you can.”

4. It’s going to change you. It will require you to change your mindset, your sureties, and your biases. You can’t fully experience all it has to offer unless you are willing to change and be changed. Don’t hold too tightly to what you think you know.

Say yes without having all the answers.
Stop trying to pack everything.
Don’t spend your days looking at who and what is behind you.
Be willing to change and be changed.

All pretty good advice for all of us who are experiencing big shifts right now.

Molly asked me one last question, “You do scary things all the time. Does it get easier?” I have to admit, I chuckled at the question. The age-old question… when does life get easy? “The truth is,” I told her, “no. It doesn’t get easier. But you get better at it. Better at doing scary things. Better at trying new things. Better at doing it scared. But it’s always going to feel scary.”

I got off that call with a huge smile on my face and a little tear in my eye. Because I needed exactly the same advice I gave her. And friends, maybe you do too.

Advancement

Ten years ago, you couldn’t go to a single conference without hearing the words “innovate” or “disruptors.” It was the cornerstone of every single event. Be innovative! The disruptors will change the world!

Something interesting is happening right now. Companies are innovating and disrupting. En masse. At the greatest level I have ever seen. And the overwhelming response from spectators is to boo and criticize.

Building a business, creating something new – it’s hard work. And the hardest part is that we are often only judged on the parts that people see. The reality is that most of the hard work happens behind the scenes, where no one sees.

External validation can be a powerful drug, but it can also keep us from where we need to be. We can succeed into failure, and approval can keep us from real success.

I am constantly reminded that if we want to create or grow or build, we have to get uncomfortable. We have to accept that we will hear boos and criticisms. And we have to acknowledge that a lot of the hardest work will happen where no one will see it and no one will applaud it.

And that is ok, friends. Build, grow, and create anyway.
The pendulum is always going to swing.

The Good Stuff

The latest websites, books, & tools that are inspiring me, the people who are making me smile, and the stuff I have been writing on sticky notes.