Dear Leaders, Entrepreneurs, Dreamers, and Creators of Great Things: I write these Love Letters each month with the hope of bringing you a little encouragement, some marketing help, and a few minutes of joy. Whether we are already friends or have yet to meet, I hope you’ll enjoy my stories from the road and some awesomely random takeaways, tools, tips, and updates.
Brains
I remember the day very clearly. It was like any other day. I woke up, showered, ate breakfast, and went to work. I was a bank teller back then, spending my days making change and small talk. But on this particular day, I had a song stuck in my head.
There is a reason they call it an ‘earworm.’ I could not get it out of my brain. I didn’t know what song it was, but the melody was driving me crazy. All day, it circled my thoughts. When I got home that night, I remember going to the phone on the wall, the one with the long curly cord, and calling three friends. Each time, I would hum the tune and beg them to tell me what it was. Finally, one of them recognized that the tune that had been bugging me all day was the theme song from The Addams Family. Sweet relief. (Also, you’re welcome.)
These days, I could use an app or AI and have an instant answer. But back then, I had to think. I had to talk to humans. I had to communicate. I had to sit in my discomfort.
And I think we were better off back then.
Listen, I am not some old lady yelling at you to get off my lawn. But I am going to say that the overwhelming use of assistive and generative AI is worrying me. We have “answers” instantly – which seems like a good thing. But we’re losing our ability to sit in the discomfort of learning. We are losing our need to talk to humans and figure things out.
The other day, I was working with some prominent leaders on how to tell a compelling company story that will help them to recruit the right people for a big project. One of them asked why we couldn’t just “ask chat.”
Here’s the thing… you can.
But shouldn’t you know how to tell your company story? Shouldn’t you be able to tell me (without the use of AI) why I want to work with you and why the work you do is important? Shouldn’t you be able to tell me how you are different? And if you can’t… isn’t that a problem you should want to sit with, even if it is uncomfortable?
I am begging you, my friends. The next time you are tempted to “just ask chat” something… take 30 seconds and think. Use that big, gorgeous, complex brain in your head and let it get uncomfortable. Give it a real problem to solve. Let it roll that tune around and around and spark all the brainwaves. Talk to humans. Work it out. Create something with your own thoughts and experiences woven into it. Instead of using that prompt that 782 people have already used… make something unique and real and meaningful.
Because I am starting to wonder if the people who depend on AI the most are the ones who can actually be most easily replaced.
Besties
On a coaching call earlier this month, I brought up some research that honestly changed my life. And it certainly changed my business.
In clinical psychology, there is a dynamic referred to as the Karpman Drama Triangle. This model states that when we tell stories or talk about ourselves, we typically cycle through the same three roles:
The Villain: the source of the problem
The Hero: the problem solver
The Victim: the person suffering from external forces/other people
But there is a challenge with this scenario. Painting yourself as the villain makes you unlikeable. Always being the victim is boring. And consistently talking about yourself as the hero is both unbelievable and even more unlikeable. (Trust me. Exhibit A: every online dating profile.)
So what is the mysterious fourth option? Well, when it comes to marketing and client-focused storytelling – the goal is to show up as the guide. The person who has been there. The best friend who isn’t afraid to lean in and go, “girrrl, I’ve been there and let me tell you….”
Homework for today – look at the way you talk about yourself online. In your marketing. In your emails. With your customers. What are you saying?
Here’s a hint: most villain/hero/victim statements start with I.
“I made these mistakes.”
“I am the best for the job.”
“I wish I had known this earlier.”
But guide statements? They usually start with YOU.
“You probably have questions.”
“You might be wondering…”
“You don’t have to stress about this alone.”
The best way to talk about yourself when talking to your customer is often not talking about yourself at all.
The good stuff
The latest websites, books, & tools that are inspiring me, the people who are making me smile, and the stuff I have been writing on sticky notes.
The soundtrack I will have on repeat all summer.
The VPN tool that I cannot live without. I use it to watch tv in other countries, and get cheaper rates on flights.
The browser I am using to filter out AI responses.
One of my favorite resources for housing-related research.
HubSpot’s latest State of Marketing Report. Lots of good info in this one.
The quote I am obsessed with right now:
“If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.” – Albert Einstein
Thanks for reading, friends! If you want to get these in your inbox every month, be sure to get on the mailing list. And if you are looking for a speaker who will motivate your organization to get up, get moving, and face change head-on, I would love to chat.
